Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Lonely Season

I am finally done with all my holiday shopping stories. Work is done, for the day at least, and tomorrow is a day to be spent with family. Only my family isn't here.
They will be celebrating Thanksgiving together while I am here in the city wishing I was with them. Wishing I could get a break from all the noise, and the crowds, and my life for only a minute.
I am filled with an overwhelming lack of confidence at work.
I am starting to realize that the crush is not going to be anything more than that.
I am not with my family on Thanksgiving, and I likely won't be able to see many of them for Christmas, either.

I haven't been able to think clearly for a while now. Somehow, everything got muddled again.

2 comments:

Husher7242 said...

If it means anything, you're not alone in feeling muddled. Someone at work recently complained that I was "on the attack" lately. So I slashed her tires and poured pigs blood on her dog. Seriously, something is going around, an all around "suck," and I don't know why. But you do work and live in an amazing place, and if it means anything, you inspire me.

SpeedySasquatch said...

Well, my pet, being that you are a member of OUR family (meaning Chris and myself) know that you are welcome to impose upon our muddled and manic lives whenever you like ... you can have our keys too!!

You have a good mind and heart, my pet, all you have to do is realize that there is NOTHING holding you back but fear and things WILL fall into place. What is life without risk?

You are good at what you do, regardless of whatever indiscretions you take oh so personally ... they could and DO happen to people all the time, not just yourself. You need to know that. Christ! you've been around me during my darkest moments, at some of my more, not quite most, venomous and absolutely ridiculous making poor choices and submitting things that I KNOW are wrong.

Let's be Frank, or George, or, dare I say it, Samantha, and just acknowledge the fact that you are pretty bad ass! You have an awesome job, you have a great supporting cast of characters that adore you, and you are in the most heavily populated lonely city in the world ... not bad if you ask me.

Be STRONG. Know you are STRONG like we all do and fuck the rest of it, because you ARE better than it all!